I can tell you that both are rare. Less than 6% of American women choose to give birth naturally (that means no epidural or other medication). When it comes to marathoning the numbers get even slimmer. Only .1 of 1% of the U.S. population has run a marathon. That’s a very select group!
So which is more difficult? As someone who has experienced both (2 marathons and 1 natural childbirth) I get asked this a lot, so I will compare the 4 keys (in my mind anyway) to both experiences and ultimately tell you which I think was the most difficult.
Okay, I warn you this will be a long entry because childbirth is a topic that is near and dear to me. Also this blog entry comes with a disclaimer that this is strictly my experience and not to be confused with how I believe ALL women should make their choices. People are free to make their own choices, so don’t think I’m knocking anyone who chooses something different than me.
1. Perseverance – This is the most striking (and most necessary) trait that both endeavors require. When running a marathon or when giving birth naturally, you need to be able to push yourself to the limit.
Running: To run a marathon, you have to find your limit, jump over it and keep going. In marathoning it’s called hitting “the wall” and every serious runner has experienced it. For me it was around Mile 17 of the race. It’s hard to explain the wall to someone who’s never felt it (again, like childbirth) but it’s like you can actually feel your body shutting down. Your lungs are on fire, your legs are burning and you may even feel sick to your stomach (many runners have rushed to the porta-johns along the course to either heave or take care of other urgent bodily functions). You start to doubt yourself and why you were crazy enough to sign up for this. You question your ability to finish. You question your sanity. You simply question everything because you’ve got the time and it’s just you and the road on which you’re running.
Childbirth: Hitting “the wall” in childbirth is most often when you experience transition. This is the stage of labor when you are between 7-10 cm and it’s the last hurdle to overcome BEFORE you can start pushing. For me this was the longest stage of labor. I felt my first contraction at 8pm and it just felt like a menstrual cramp or muscle cramp (for you guys who’ve never known the joy of lady cramps). It only lasted about 10 seconds and was mildly uncomfortable. Two hours later they were 10 minutes apart and longer, maybe 30-45 seconds each. Still uncomfortable, but certainly not excruciating. I didn’t go to the hospital until about 3am (7 hours into my labor), when the contractions were about 2-3 min apart, extremely uncomfortable and, oh yeah, my water broke on the bath mat upstairs in our bathroom (by the way, the mat was quickly replaced).
2. Choices/Training – The power to make your own decisions and choices is critical to achieving a lofty goal. Clearly training for a race is a lot different than “training” for childbirth, but there are some similarities.
Running: I followed a strict 18-week running schedule to train for my last marathon (I trained similarly for the first marathon as well, but I was 21 years old and my body went a lot farther with less training back then). I also had to be in good shape to even begin the training schedule, so I had started running regularly for about 2 months BEFORE marathon training. So I spent more than 6 months working in preparation for the big event. By the end of training I was running about 35-40 miles a week. That takes a lot of time, effort and extreme dedication to stay focused on the prize.
Childbirth: Before giving birth, I had made choices crucial to my plan to stay natural. I decided who I wanted in the room with me, what options I was going to try to manage my pain and that I did not want certain “medical necessities” because they were not necessary for me. This includes having an IV (you don’t need one unless you get an epidural or other medication – it gets in the way and keeps you from moving around) and continuous electronic monitoring (the monitor they strap around your belly to see the baby’s heart rate and your contractions). Here’s the deal – I know when I’m having a contraction because I am unmedicated, so no need to read it on a piece of paper. Not to mention when the monitor is on, everyone in the room has a natural tendency to focus on that instead of focusing on the hard working mommy-to-be.
For those reasons, I chose to have intermittent monitoring which has the exact same outcome rates for infants who are monitored continuously. This allowed me to move freely. For me that meant standing in the shower in my hospital room for an hour and a half because the warm water on my back relieved (well, dulled) the pain. A nurse would come in every half an hour, hold a monitor to my belly and listen through an entire contraction and then off she’d go so I could let my body do the work it was designed to do.
3. Confidence/Attitude – You have to feel confident and believe in your choices to achieve goals. I think Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.” That’s a powerful statement and it’s true in both childbirth and marathoning.
Running: My goal was never to win the marathon (hello, I’m not Kenyan or freakishly fit) but I wanted to finish strong. I had injuries along the way –and lots of pain during the race – but I always knew that I could finish. I believed in myself and knew I had the strength it took to finish. It’s easy to doubt yourself, but having the right mind set is the only way to achieve anything difficult.
Confidence peaks during “runner’s high.” You may have heard of or experienced this phenomenon. I’ve never taken drugs, but it’s got to be the closest you can feel to being high on some great drugs. For me it usually happens around mile 8-9. At first I’m holding back or anxious when starting out on a big run, but at about 8-9 miles, I feel like I could fly. Your endorphins pump you up and make you feel untouchable. This also happens in childbirth, but I never had a moment as obvious as this except while running.
Childbirth: Attitude is the only thing you can control when you are having a baby. How you choose to use it determines a lot of your experience. When I got to the hospital at 3am I was beginning transition and was about 7cm dilated. This means I did a lot of the work at home where I felt comfortable, could move around freely and didn’t feel pressured to “speed things up.” Transition is when I felt the most actual pain. The contractions were basically one on top of the other with only 30 seconds to 1 min between them where I could catch my breath and rest. To describe childbirth is difficult, but basically -- at its most intense – the contractions felt like a strong muscle cramp in my stomach that lasted no more than 1 minute, but they squeezed so tightly that I could barely remember to breathe. Which is why the whole Lamaze “Hee-Hee-Hoh” breathing was started, you can actually FORGET to breathe when you are so overwhelmed.
But as intense as it was, I felt like this is what my body is supposed to be doing. Labor is WORK. And with contractions coming and going like waves hitting the shore, I knew that each one was bringing me closer and closer to meeting my baby for the first time. Having that attitude made it easier for me to remain focused than if I had constantly complained about the pain the whole time. I had to make a mental choice to have a different perspective on the situation to maintain my sense of confidence.
4. Natural ability – I think everyone has a different threshold for pain. What one person may feel is a terrible pain, may only be slightly uncomfortable for someone else. I believe that I have a slightly higher than average threshold for pain. I’m not sure if that comes naturally or if it’s just years of playing sports or what. I’m certainly not Wonder Woman (although her super sweet invisible plane would be fantastic), but I can hold my own when it comes to working through my pain/discomfort.
Running: I know I am not designed to be a distance runner. I don’t have the lung capacity to run without being out of breath and my knees simply can’t take the repeated force. However, I do have the ability to push through it. This was clear on race day when I started feeling pain in right knee at Mile 5 of the marathon. It gradually got more and more intense until it blew out by Mile 11. It felt like knives were stabbing me under my knee cap with every step. Every SINGLE step. Only 15.2 more miles to go. “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.” This became my motto. I knew I had worked too hard for too long to quit now.
The last 5 miles of a marathon is similar to pushing during child birth. You’re exhausted, probably hungry and you just want to be finished already. The important thing is to recognize that everyone going through this experience feels the same way.
Childbirth: I was between 9 and 10 cm for more than an hour and a half. I was so tired (partly because I labored all night) that I actually fell asleep several times between contractions for the brief min or so before the next one would come. This was by far the most difficult part of childbirth. But finally my body was ready, I pushed for about 45 minutes and the Bean was born! Again, every woman is different, and so is her natural threshold of pain, the cards she is dealt and her overall birth experience.
The Big Decision: Which Is More Difficult?
For me, giving birth naturally was way more intense, but it had a greater reward and allowed me to take breaks between contractions. Marathoning was contstant, relentless, and not at all what my body was naturally designed to do (at least with not my worn-out knees).
It’s a tough call, but I think running a marathon was more difficult for me, but giving birth was overall more intense. The key difference is that pain when used in the right context, serves a purpose. Pain in my knees while running is harsh and unnecessary, but pain that brings me closer to becoming a mother is a beautiful part of the design of my body. Both experiences left me feeling empowered!
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