Can't We All Just Get Along?

Today I get to talk about about one of my pet peeves. I can't stand when people don't agree with me and believe they are superior for their thinking while I must be a complete idiot for not following suit. Why can't we agree to disagree? Yes, I recognize the fact that I am a people pleaser and the thought of someone not liking me makes my tummy hurt. Whatever. I've got some issues to work on. Don't we all? But would the world be such a bad place if we all actually considered other people's feelings before we blurted out whatever popped into our head?

Take for instance a recent discussion where someone mentioned a natural childbirth and everyone looked at me b/c they know that's what I chose to have with the Bean. I said it worked for me and was a beautiful experience, BUT I recognize that everyone has a choice and whatever you choose for yourself is cool. A woman I don't really know said, "You know they don't give you a trophy for doing it without drugs." Wow. I never said they gave me a trophy or that I expected a standing ovation for MY CHOICE.

Again, why can't people realize that whatever my opinion is -- it does NOT mean that I'm slamming their opinion? And if they realize that, why would they then take cheap shots back at my choices? I would NEVER tell someone who had an epidural, "Gosh, I guess you just weren't tough enough to handle it." You know why? MANY reasons:

1. Because I honestly don't believe that “toughness” has anything to do with it.
2. Because childbirth isn't a contest.
3. Because I respect your right to choose whatever you want to do.
4. Because every woman's labor is different and she should be allowed to choose whatever she needs to have the experience she wants.
5. Because it's simply rude.

So why is it so hard for others to recognize that what they say -- intentionally or unintentionally -- can hurt someone's feelings or anger them? I know that I'm on the extreme side of this scale where I don't ever want to say anything that might possibly cause someone to think I'm offending them. Okay, you don't have to come over to my level of crazy, but people could at least show some common courtesy.

I know that the person who made the "trophy" comment wasn't saying it to be hurtful or rude, it was just her opinion. That's fine. I’m not offended by it. However, it just leapt out at me as one more comment in a long list that I've received over about my choice to have a drug-free birth. From the common, "WHY would you CHOOSE that?" to the more crabby comments of "Are you trying to be SuperWoman?" to the downright rude, "Would you have your appendix removed without drugs? NO! So why would you choose to endure the pain of childbirth? That's just crazy."

Maybe hearing this over and over makes me a little oversensitive on this subject. Probably so. But I would never judge anyone for her choice in the delivery room. It's your body and your baby. You know what's best for you. But you sure as heck don't know what's best for me. So I vote that everyone should just follow the rule we learned in first grade: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that childbirth is painful. It's that women are strong." -- Laura Stavoe Harm