The Twincesses Are Here

It has been a busy couple of weeks... the twins have arrived! The girls were born Aug. 14 and I'm happy to report they are healthy and we're all doing well. The birth was beautiful, drug-free, and earlier than expected. Here's their birth story. I apologize now for the length, but moms are proud of their birth experiences...

I was 36 and a half weeks and my doctor was talking about inducing me around 37-38 weeks because she felt twins could be safer on the outside at this point. I am not a fan of inducement unless ABSOLUTELY medically necessary and this didn't seem like enough of a reason. There was no evidence to back it up and just because it made her "uncomfortable" didn't seem like enough to induce. So I was telling my husband that I just wished the twins would come on their own, whenever they were ready. Just a few hours later, when I got into bed that night I felt my water break. It's a crazy sensation when that happens. Almost like you've peed your pants and you can't stop (not that I have experienced that, but I can imagine). So I ran to the bathroom and told my husband to call the doctor at the hospital. This was about 11:15pm.

I knew it was time to head to the hospital, so we got our daughter out of bed and took her to a friend's house on the way. We got to the hospital about 12:30 and by that time I was having a few, SMALL contractions. Nothing painful yet, just contractions to let me know that things were happening. I was excited b/c I was afraid that because my water had broken without contractions, the doctor would have to give me pitocin to kick things off (again, inducement). So luckily my body responded without any need for intervention.

While this is going on, my sister (who is a labor and delivery nurse at my hospital) was planning to be there for the birth as my doula, just like she did for my first child. However, this night she was out of town for a funeral for a member of her husband's family. ONE night she was going to be gone. Of course that's the night I went into labor. I called her on the way to the hospital and she called her nurse friends to get the "Dream Team" assembled for me and then she hit the road to try to make it back for the birth.

Back at the hospital, they hooked me up to the 800 monitors (okay, just 3, but there were a lot of wires in my way) to watch both babies and monitor the contractions before the doctor would come in. After about half an hour, the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and very INTENSE. I knew things were progressing rapidly. The doctor came in to check me around 1:30 and I was already past 6 cm. The doctor was very nice, but highly recommended that I get an epidural. He said he understood I had done this once before without medication, but for twins it would get very uncomfortable if he had to turn one of the babies if I didn't have an epidural. I said thanks, but no thanks.

NOTE: I didn't choose to give birth without medication to prove a point or to be some sort of superhero. The truth is that there is nothing heroic about it. It isn't a superhuman feat. It's simply about taking control of my birth experience and allowing my body to do what IT WAS MADE TO DO. Being a woman is pretty frickin incredible sometimes and giving birth has to be the best experience you can have. To fully experience birth, I think FOR ME (not for anyone else) it involves allowing myself to feel it. My favorite quote is: "We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." It's like running a marathon, it takes hard work but the reward is feeling empowered knowing how incredible the body can be.

Back to the birth story... the next half hour after I saw the doctor seemed like one long contraction since they were coming one after another, almost on top of each other. I was thinking that it took me 5 hours to go from 6cm to delivering my first child and I didn't think I could last another 5 hours if my contractions stayed this intense. To explain contractions to someone who has never had them is difficult. It's not constant pain. It's a tightness or cramp in your stomach. A SEVERE cramp that is so intense you can't speak while it happens. It's a wave that comes in and then washes away, usually lasting less than one minute. Transition (the period between 7cm to the complete 10cm) is the most difficult. Contractions are closer together and much more intense than at any other time during labor. It helped me to think of each contraction as a wave and after it washed away, that would be the last time I'd ever have that contraction. And with each contraction, I was one step closer to meeting my daughters.

My husband was a wonderful supporter, who rubbed my back and cheered me on, giving me confidence to continue. When I felt like I was at a breaking point with the contractions, my FABULOUS nurse sensed it and asked if I wanted to be checked again. I was 10cm and we were ready to head to the Operating Room for the delivery. Apparently it's hospital policy to give birth to multiples in the OR, just in case there is a need for a c-section. The c-section rate for twins is about 50% (higher than the 30% rate for all women), so I was desperately trying to avoid that. The more medical interventions you receive (inducement, epidural, etc.), the more likely you are to have a c-section.

It only took 30 minutes to go from a 6 to a 10, so my labor was progressing fast. My bed was wheeled into the OR and it wasn't as scary as I had anticipated. There were a lot of extra people in there (NICU nurses for the babies, anesthesiologist, etc.) and it was bright, but not as cold and sterile as I had expected. My doctor came in and we talked for a little bit. He seemed surprised and told me, "Wow, you're really in control of the situation." I explained that I was fine to chat between contractions, and you really get a break when transtion is over. Instantly you feel the urge to push, but after that ends (again, like a wave it comes and goes) you don't feel any pain -- but certainly there is constant pressure.

Back on the interstate, my sister got the update from my nurse that I was heading into the OR. She was still 3 hours away and knew she couldn't make it back in time for the birth. She pulled over into a Jack In the Box parking lot (this was after 2am), and one of her nurse co-workers stood in the gallery of the OR and gave my sister a play-by-play of the birth over the phone.

In the OR, I pushed for about 15 minutes (only pushing with the contractions, which were each a few minutes apart) and Baby A was born! She was perfect and they placed her on my chest while they cleaned her off. She weighed 6lbs 15oz, which was a good size for a twin born at 36 and a half weeks. Immediately after her birth, the doctor asked how I wanted to manage the birth of Baby B. He said he typically breaks that baby's water immediately and gets Baby B out quickly. I said since we are still monitoring Baby B, let's just take a break and let me catch my breath before we get started on Baby B's birth. I knew the more you intervene, the more likely Baby B wouldn't be ready to come down and we could end up with a c-section for her. The more time we could give her to move down on her own, the better.

After about 15 minutes, the doctor said there was too much bleeding and he wanted to get started on Baby B's birth. I agreed and he broke her water. She came out in one push! She was much smaller at 5lbs 7oz, which is typical of the second twin. She was placed on my belly while they cleaned her. Suddenly I was a mom of 3!

I had an amazing rush after their birth. It's hard to explain, but I would say it's similar to a runner's high. After being exhausted, suddenly you feel renewed and ready to take on anything. After all that hard work, I felt uplifted and full of energy.

We feel so blessed and are excited to start our life as a family of 5. The best way to describe my life is something I'll steal from a recent Julia Roberts interview: Our love is so amazing it burst into 3 people.

The Final Countdown

Not only is "The Final Countdown" a fantastic-ly cheezy hair metal song, but it also explains this phase of my pregnancy. I'm 35 weeks today, so that means with a singleton I'd have 5 weeks to go, but with twins 38 weeks is considered full term. So really the babies could come at any time! I'm excited about that, but also anxious. I don't think anxious accurately describes it... it's more like full-fledge panicked! I am not nervous about the same things I was when I was pregnant with my first child. That was more a fear of the unknown. Now I know what to expect with a newborn, so it's a fear of the inevitable change when bringing home a new baby (or babies).

Here are my top 5 stresses right now (believe me it changes daily):

1. Will the babies be born healthy?
I know the odds are good that everything will be fine, but I'm the person who worries about things I can't change and stresses about the 1 percent chance of whatever. I know that every mother stresses about this one (or at least thinks about it). I think having a healthy child is the number one priority for any mom-to-be. I am praying for 2 healthy children and letting go to realize that I can't control this one is difficult for me.

2. How will labor go?
With my first child I had a beautiful birth experience, but things will be very different this time around. With multiples I will be more closely monitored throughout labor (if there is no scheduled C-section--which I hope will not be needed). And that even after I go through labor and birth one child, there's still a chance that the second baby could spin into a breech position and we'd have to do a C-section for the second baby. I'll be giving birth in the Operating Room if that tells you anything. Apparently it's the standard of care for multiples' births, so I have no choice in the matter. That way if a C-section is needed, the doctors will be ready to go almost immediately. While this should make me feel more comfortable, it makes me more uptight because I know the OR will be sterile and cold and I'll probably be confined in ways that I wasn't with my first labor.

3. How will my daughter react to the twins?
This is a big worry for me. I don't want my daughter to feel pushed aside by the twins. I'm sure this is a common issue with siblings of babies, so I want her to be a part of the process so maybe she won't feel as left out. It's hard to imagine loving something as much as I love her, so while part of me fears I will have to split my love to include the 2 new babies, everything that I have heard from friends/family is that your motherly love is not split -- it MULTIPLIES! So it should be interesting to see how things change for all of us. I'm so excited to be adding to our family, I just hope my 2-year-old will agree.

4. How will breastfeeding go with the twins?
Breastfeeding is important to me. I struggled a great deal the first time around and finally got things worked out about 8-10 weeks later. Let me tell you that 2-3 months is a LONG time to struggle with nursing. Had I not been so determined to do it, plus all the guilt I had if I even thought about stopping, there's no way I would have continued. Eventually we made it and I nursed my daughter for about 15 months. It was a wonderful experience that bonded us and gave me a confidence that nothing else has ever done. I knew that I was doing something for her that NO ONE else could do. I grew her for 9 months and now was sustaining her by providing all the food she'd need. That's a big accomplishment.

I'm hoping this time around that I will know more nursing and won't have as many struggles, but with 2 babies everything will be different.

• Will they nurse at the same time? Apparently that only works for about 50% of twins.
• Will they both latch on early without problems? Depends on if they are full term.
• Will they be good eaters? My daughter was a "lazy" eater, so she'd fall asleep after 5 min of nursing, which caused many of the problems.
• Will I have time to nurse while chasing a 2-year-old around the house all day? Last time I could hole myself up in the nursery and work on breastfeeding for hours... that's not an option this time.

5. How will my husband and I cope with 2 newborns and a toddler?
The first 3 months with a newborn are a blur. There's no sleep, lots of newborn crying, tons of stress and did I mention the no-sleep thing? Seriously, it's hard. At least this time we'll know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, on the flip side, we also know how HARD it is those first few months... when getting 3 hours of consecutive sleep feels like a weekend at the beach.

I think this stage can either push a couple apart or bring them closer. I definitely felt a closeness to my husband with our first child that I never had before. When you see your husband holding your child, there's a new level of love and respect that you didn't even know existed. I love him not only for the man he is to me, but for the father he is to our daughter. Ultimately, I am not worried about how these changes will affect our marriage because I know we have enough love to share with more children. I'm just stressing about those early months of sleep deprivation...