Things that Annoy Me

Ok, it's Monday. I may not have a "case of the Mondays" but in honor of tired, grumpy people on Monday everywhere, here is my list of recent annoyances:


1. People's Bad (RUDE) Reaction to the Fact I'm Having Twins
Conversation I had couple of days ago with a CVS store clerk while I was checking out:

Clerk: So, when is your baby due?
Me: Actually, I'm having twins and they are due at the end of August.

Clerk: Wow! And you're already THAT BIG! 2 more months... I guess you do have to gain a lot more for twins.
Me: Well, it does take a lot of room to grow TWO PEOPLE (Note: I have a slight edge of annoyance here).
Clerk: I had a friend who had twin boys and she was huge by the time they were born (she holds her hands out around her as if to imply this woman was as round as she was tall).
Me: Anyway. Thanks for my order. Have a good night.

Seriously. I have had this conversation or one similar to it so many times when I am checking out at the grocery store, buying food at a food court, or really just with anyone I've never met who asks about my baby. I get that they ask about a baby. Clearly, I look pregnant. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the ridiculous reaction to me having twins ("I'm glad it's you and not me!") as if no one on Earth has ever had twins before.

I am seriously considering just lying to strangers from here on out and when they say, "when is your baby due?" I think I'll just play along and say, "Next week." I can say that for the next 2 months, right?

2. Maternity Clothes that Don't Fit My GIANT Belly
I have great friends who have loaned me their maternity clothes. So in addition to my own clothes, I have 5 other women's maternity clothes. This should be all the clothes I'd EVER need for a few months. However, my body has other ideas. Most of my maternity clothes are a size Medium, but I have a lot of Larges too and yet NONE of them are long enough now... at least when it comes to my ginormous belly. All of my extra long tank tops/shirts that I wore when pregnant last time (all the way until the due date) now look like midriff shirts. It's not that they are too tight all over, it's just that my tummy stretches out SO much farther this time that my shirts won't cover them. So I have like 4 shirts that fit right now. Ugh. Going up to an X-Large would just make it bigger everywhere, not necessarily much longer to accommodate my tummy. Good times.

I may look like a white trash pregnant Britney Spears by the end of my pregnancy rocking midriff maternity shirts.

3. People Who Are Annoyed that We a) Don't Have Names Picked Out & b) Won't Tell Once We Do
Asking if we have any names picked out is a common and harmless question. I don't mind anyone asking that because I know it's not unusual for a woman to have the name picked out as soon as she finds out she's pregnant. That's fine. My irritation comes from people who get almost mad at me and when I say, "We aren't sure yet. Still looking at a long list of names." I tell them that we didn't tell the name last time around b/c it was the one secret that my husband and I could share during the whole experience. Some people can't take the hint and ask, "what are your top favorites that you're thinking about?" I just want to shout -- "It's NONE of your business. Thanks for asking."

I guess I'm annoyed mostly because it's just assumed that you would have a name picked out and have it monogramed on pillows before you finish the first trimester. This has to be a relatively new phenomenon considering that up until about 30 years ago people didn't know if they were having a boy/girl until delivery. Now with the use (and I mean OVER use) of ultrasounds, we know so early that people just assume not only do you want to find out boy/girl, but you have also named your child and will want to share that with everyone. Sorry, I want just one little piece that I can keep for myself and my husband.

Okay enough of the grumpy blog, perhaps I can do a happier list next time...

Uncomfortable Is Comforting

Today I'm officially 28 weeks pregnant with twins. While this may not seem like a huge accomplishment, let me tell you -- it is! HUGE! At least that's the size of my belly right now. Check out this fantastic image I found online of a twins' belly. NOTE: This is NOT my belly. However, mine is just as big, I'm just not ready to post pics of myself.

I've been reading a website about the week-by-week development of twins in pregnancy and basically it looks like I should get used to my new friend -- uncomfortable. The synopsis for weeks 28-32 of twins' pregnancy describes how you probably aren't sleeping well anymore because you can't get comfortable no matter what you do. It goes on to say that sitting is even difficult at this point because of the ever-growing belly. I can personally vouch for both of these. I wake up at least 5 times a night and sleep maybe 4 hours total on a good night. It's not that I'm always waking up because of a squished, full bladder (although that does happen at least once a night now), it's that I simply can't get comfortable in bed. I flip from side to side because if you lay on one side for too long, your bottom leg will go to sleep. Seriously. It's awesome. I highly recommend it. So it's like I got half an epidural (not that I've ever had one of those, but I assume it would feel like that) as punishment because I had the ridiculous notion that I could lay on my side.

Also lying on my side means that I have two babies stacked on top of each other. This causes an enormous amount of weight to sling to one side, and then the babies start kicking each other and I get to take the brunt of their fights. Lying on my back is just impossible because there are two babies lying on my spine and that's not comfortable for any of us. They let me know their distaste for this position by kicking and punching the daylights out of me. Good times.

Okay, so I'm not going to sleep again until the babies get here.... wait, that won't happen for at least 3 months after they arrive or until they figure out how to sleep more than 6 hours consecutively. Maybe I can just get some rest on the couch. Seriously, sitting can't be that big of an inconvenience. This should be easy. It's not like I'm in a stiff office chair -- it's a freaking soft couch! Nope, my tummy literally touches my legs when I try to sit up. Not so much TOUCHES my legs as PRESSES down in a super-uncomfortable/almost painful way.

I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer complainer today, but I'm struck by the differences between being pregnant with twins vs. a singleton. I was slightly uncomfortable the last few weeks when I was pregnant with one baby, but it was never THIS much, THIS early. I'm hoping to go another 10 weeks before the babies arrive, so I can have 2 fat, healthy, full-term babies but it looks like in the meantime I'll be sleep-deprived and uncomfortable. In some way, being uncomfortable and getting larger by the minute is comforting because it shows me that the twincesses are growing and getting bigger. My discomfort is a sacrifice I'm more than willing to make to have 2 healthy babies, so I know it will all be worth it when I get to hold them and snuggle while taking in that wonderful new baby smell.

To Minivan or Not to Minivan

So it's been a while since I posted something, I've got to get better about that...

Let's chat about the dreaded minivan. The symbol of the All-American soccer mom, it clearly states you are a part of a FAMILY, not a chic, hip, young person. I've always said that I'd never drive a minivan, but things always have a reliable (and often annoying) way of changing. Since we are expecting twins and have a 2-year-old daughter, there aren't many options for a vehicle to fit our family of five. Certainly not any cool options.


We tried to fit all three car seats in the back of our Saturn SUV, but the doors wouldn't shut. FAIL! So we knew buying another vehicle was not a want, but a definite need. I fought the idea of a minivan tooth and nail and vowed to keep my quickly-fading cool points by checking out other SUVs. However, those behemoth vehicles are not all they're cracked up to be. They have terrible gas mileage, they're ridiculously expensive and the biggest con of them all -- they have 2 benches for seating. This isn't bad if you're loading a car full of teenagers or adults, but for moms who have to climb over seats with babies or toddlers to strap them in their racecar-esque 5-point buckle harness car seats, it's not so great.

I still had hope for the Chevy Traverse, the new SUV with a bench in the back and 2 captains chairs in the middle (think--just like a minivan, but cool). But there were again 2 major drawbacks, first the price of the Traverse is highly inflated since it's only been around a couple of years. Second and MOST importantly, the doors open like any other car door. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you are carrying TWO -- yes, TWO --babies in your arms while simultaneously coralling a 2-year-old into the vehicle, it's impossible to grab a door handle and swing open a door without dropping babies and/or losing your sanity. So the appeal of a one-touch button on your remote to open the side doors of a minivan is the closest thing to sexy you can get with a mom wagon.

With ALL my options exhausted, it was time to suck it up and prepare for the inevitable. I was going to own a minivan. We made the trade in on another car we owned (still keeping the SUV) and upgraded to the Honda Odyssey. It has all the amenities you could want. We have 11 cup holders. SERIOUSLY. Eleven! I'm not sure why you need to store that many drinks at once, but apparently it's accomodated by the Odyssey. We have a rear camera that shows up in our rear view mirror when you put the van in reverse, so you can see what you're about to back into. It's a neat feature that makes me feel like I'm driving a spaceship.

However none of these handy features makes me feel like a hip, stylish, young (okay, youngish) woman in my early 30s. But I guess the point is that I'm a mom and what I need trumps what I think looks cool. While I still view the purchase of our minivan as the death of my youth, I also see it as the start of a new chapter in my life. It's appropriate that our van is an Odyssey since I feel like we're getting ready to embark on a new journey into the unknown. Life with 3 kids -- not to mention having twins -- will be a challenge that is sure to test my patience, sanity and our bank account all while giving us immeasurable amounts of joy, awe and love.