A Mother's Work Is Never Done

"A mother's work is never done."

You've heard the old adage, and it couldn't be more true. I've always considered myself a busy person. In high school and college I was involved in a lot of different organizations and sports and held leadership positions in many of them, all while keeping up my grades. I often felt overscheduled. After college I worked at a local television station where typically one's life should revolve around work in order to succeed. I worked long hours, weekends, holidays --  I was constantly on the go and always running from one shoot to another. BUSY. Or so I thought.

Fast forward a few years and I have my first child. Within a few weeks I realized I had never been this busy in my life. My husband and I talked about the biggest surprise for us was the continuousness of parenthood. Not that we expected it to be a 9-5 kind of gig, but just that there is no break. Ever. I went back to work in 3 months and found the work/life balance was difficult to say the least. It was managable, but I never felt 100% committed to my job or 100% like a good mother. I've heard this is common and pretty much how many mothers feel for the rest of their lives.

Once the hectic, newborn, holy-crap-I-have-a-baby-to-take-care-of period passed, I found a rountine and rhythm to my daily life. Yet, nothing prepared me for twins. NOTHING. CAN. PREPARE. YOU. FOR. TWINS. From the overwhelming nausea I had 24 hours a day to the constant discomfort I felt as I grew and grew and GREW, my twins' pregnancy was a strong indicator at just how different this time around was going to be. Once my twins were born, life became a juggling act with little to no sleep and more people depending on me than ever before. When people say, "I had kids one year apart, so that's the same thing as twins or even harder than twins" (which I've heard more frequently than you'd think) I want to:
1. laugh at them and their ridiculous lie
2. ask them how many babies came out of their ladytown in the span of 20 minutes
3. ask if their oldest kid could hold its head up when the baby was born (try holding two babies who both need head/neck support)
4. ask if they breastfed both of their kids at the same time. around the clock. every day.
5. find out where they get their drugs that distort reality and request they them share with me

I look back now and laugh at how easy it was to have only one baby to take care of. I only had to load/unload one baby into the car in the rain. I only had to get up in the middle of the night when one baby cried. I got to nap when my baby napped because I didn't have a 2-year-old who needed my attention.

How did I ever think having one baby was hard?

Clearly, the adjustment period from 0-1 kid is tough. Going from only worrying about myself to making this other little person my top priority for everything is definitely a life change. It is a change I was happy to make and one that I'm so glad I did make, but it was still a grown up moment.

Finding time to myself when the twins were newborns and my oldest daughter was not even 2 and half years old was impossible. If I could go to the bathroom alone, it was a freaking vacation. If I could get a shower in every 3 days, I was happy (I'm sure my husband was as well). I was breastfeeding about 10-12 hours a day, every day and changing about 30 diapers a day because our toddler was not yet potty trained. This didn't leave much time for eating and sleeping, let alone any time for myself.

I don't want this to sound like a "woe is me" kind of speech. While I had a lot to deal with, I am extremely blessed to have a supportive husband who is very hands on as a parent as well as family who helps us in so many ways. There are so many moms who deal with situations that are much more difficult from kids with special needs, to being a single mom to having a parent away serving in the miltary to caring for children with health problems. I feel so blessed that my children -- who sometimes make me want to pull out my hair -- are, and always have been, healthy. This is a gift that I cherish and for which I am extremely grateful.

My life as a mom of 3 was, at times, sad and overwhelming, but is also an amazing experience filled with many joyful, thankful moments with these children who I grew and birthed and now have the immense honor of raising. I remember so many times when the twins were just days/weeks old, looking at them in awe at how they are so different, yet so connected to each other. I remember being so bleary-eyed and exhausted, but looking into their little faces and getting teary at what precious miracles there were and how blessed I am to be their mother. I still have moments like that, but I believe those first few months with your baby is about as close as one can get to being in a room with God. There's a quote by Charles Dickens that I keep coming back to: "It is no small thing that they, who are so fresh from God, love us." Babies stare at their mommy with a look of pure adoration and that pure love is clearly a gift from God. Having two babies look at me like that while also looking at each other with love was sometimes too overwhelming for me to comprehend. Sort of like heaven. It's a love that is bigger than I can wrap my little brain around. God is bigger than anything I can imagine, yet with my children I feel he has given me a glimpse at his glory and the kind of love I can expect in heaven.

While a mother's work is never done, her reward is experiencing heaven on Earth.