And Baby Makes 3... or 5 as the Case May Be

Only one percent of women have twins.


So I get it. It's rare and people like to point and stare while giving me the "I'm so glad it's you and not me" look of pity. I just went to my OB doctor for my 6-week check up and I took the twins with me. The oohs and awes the babies received were nothing compared to the "Holy crap! Twins!" comments I got. One pregnant woman in the waiting room said congrats and then leaned in to her husband and said, "See honey, it could be worse. We could be having twins." Thanks lady. I may be tired, but I'm not deaf. I CAN HEAR YOU!


Yes, I'm tired. I keep thinking I was ridiculous for being so tired with our first child. I complained about how hard it was and how it took up so much time to care for a child around the clock. I was always happy to become a mom, but the biggest shock I had to deal with the first time around was the continuous-ness (is that even a word?) of caring for a newborn. There's just no break. You feed, burp, change diapers, rock and repeat. OVER and OVER again. 24 hours a day. This was a big change for me as a first-time mom, but now that I have twins and a 2-year-old I keep thinking... one baby was super easy!


Let's be clear, I'm not saying having one baby is actually easy. I know it's not. I believe that going from 0-1 kid is still the most difficult adjustment any mom will make b/c it's a lifestyle shift. A shift that occurs when the baby is born and nevers shifts back. It's a good thing and it's how we change from women into mothers. Learning what to do with a newborn and how to adjust your daily life to accept the needs (the MANY needs) of a newborn is hectic and overwhelming. Once that is done, I think the first-time jitters are gone and it's easier for a second child. But that doesn't mean it's a walk in the park.


Whether it's multiples or just one newborn (as if JUST ONE newborn isn't challenging enough sometimes)... Here is my list of things that change with a baby:


1. Sleep -- Obviously this is simply gone. You'll learn to take these 8 precious hours and reduce them to a 4-hour power nap (that will be broken into 3 segments). I love to sleep at least 9 hours and be lazy on Saturdays. This hasn't happened since my first child was born 2 and a half years ago. Sorry moms, but the sleep ship has sailed and will return in about 15 years.


2. Everyone has an opinion -- Seriously, everyone from your mom, mother-in-law, sister to the checkout lady at the grocery store will have an opinion on how you raise your kids. And they will share those opinions with you. A LOT. How you handle this part of motherhood will affect your relationships with those family members and more importantly, will affect your own sanity. You have to listen, smile & nod, then do what YOU think is best. You are the mom and that makes you an expert on your child.


3. Guilt -- I think I understand Catholic guilt based on the mommy guilt. I feel guilt when I worked outside the home (am I abandoning my child? NO). I now feel guilt about staying at home (am I setting a good example for my 3 daughters? I hope so.). I've felt guilt over breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding and so many other issues moms deal with daily. I wish this wasn't a part of motherhood, but sadly I think it is just as much a part of having a newborn as the little hats they give babies in the hospitals. All I can do is try to take a step back and look at the big picture and hope I can realize that my everyday decisions aren't going to create as much drama as I see in my head.


4. Priorities -- My priorities changed instantly when I became a mother. I suddenly knew my purpose on this planet was to care for this baby. To love her. To protect her. To help her become a good person. No pressure! That's a pretty tall order but it's one that most any mother would agree with.


5. Time -- Okay, so this goes along with sleep and priorities, but I simply don't have time for everything anymore. With all the extra time I spend with my newborns, I don't have time to talk to run to Target and grab whatever I need at the moment or to take an hour blow drying my hair straight or decide on a whim to put on my workout clothes, pop on my iPod and go for a long run. These are luxuries (well, my luxuries at least) that simply vanished when I brought home newborns. This isn't to say they are gone forever, but they now require more planning and thought and will someday return at a more leisurely pace when the kids are older. I hope.