Time just for ME. Time where I don't have to be supermom and can just relax. Does this precious time really exist or does it hang out with other mythical creatures like the unicorn and Santa Claus? Whether you're a parent or not, you know how important it is to take some time to relax and reenergize. As a mom I've realized that finding time to do that is way more difficult than it used to be, but it is even more necessary.
Right after I had my little Bean (that will be V's new name b/c V sounded too much like that terrible sci-fi tv show my husband watched this fall) there was no such thing as "me time." I was overwhelmed by the continuousness (seriously is that really a word?) nature of my new role as mother. I breastfed, so I was nursing every 2 hours and she had trouble staying awake while eating, so it took even longer than it should have. This basically meant that after she was finished eating and her diaper had been changed (babies poop a lot in the beginning), I had about 45 minutes before she was hungry again. And this cycle continued over and over all day, every day, 24 hours a day for about 2 months. TWO MONTHS! That means I rarely got a full hour of uninterrupted sleep for about 8 weeks. (How's that for birth control for those who aren't ready to have kids yet?) Anyway... I am pretty sure I know exactly how those Navy SEALS feel being tested under conditions that include extreme sleep deprivation. Forget G.I. Jane, the Navy should just hire new moms and there's no telling what covert operation could be accomplished all while wearing lip gloss and mom jeans.
This rude awakening into motherhood was a jolt to my lackadaisical system, which was used to sleeping in late and having lazy Saturdays of lounging in my pjs until noon. As a new mom I could still wear my pjs all day, but they may or may not be covered in baby poo or spit up. Just surviving the day was my goal early on and the thought of having "me time" was a foreign concept.
I don't know how I would have made it without the support of my husband, M. He helped me see the big picture (maybe because he hadn't been turned into a milk cow so he wasn't as sleep deprived). He could see past the next 2 hours and understand that this phase in our lives wasn't going to last forever. Despite how difficult nursing was in the beginning, I wouldn't trade it for anything. There was a lot of special Mommy-Bean bonding that wouldn't have been there if we hadn't hung with it.
In the beginning finding time for me was as simple as taking a warm shower. Having 10-15 minutes alone in a warm shower was a treat that can't be overlooked. It may sound like taking a shower is just routine and it would be like saying "going to the dentist is a treat." But for me, this was MY time to regroup and relax.
I've learned the mantra, "this too shall pass" and never had it been so relevant to me than during these couple of months. Evenutally the Bean got the hang of things and started being more efficient with eating and as she got bigger, she started going longer between each feeding. She started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old and life got much easier.
I remember the first time I left the house for more than 45 minutes without little Bean. She was about 7-8 weeks old and I went to the movies with some girlfriends. Being in the car without her literally felt like I was leaving the house without my right arm. I honestly felt like something had been amputated. But I had to learn that it was important for me to get away and take some time for me so that I could come back renewed and be a better mom/wife because of it.
As she got older "me time" became easier to do. Recently I ran a marathon and training for it became my me time. In fact, running has become a favorite way to spend me time. It's not quite "Calgon take me away," but for me it has the same effect. When I'm alone and running with my iPod on full blast (with songs that range from hard core rap to princess pop), I feel free of stress and ready to tackle anything that comes my way.
It's not always easy. Sometimes I have to get up super early and hit the treadmill before the sun comes up. Sometimes I have to summon up the energy to hit the gym after M comes home and it's been a long day at home and all I want to do is NOTHING. I do it because it is important to me. I've made it a priority. It is my release. This me time gives me a renewed sense of strength and that helps me the rest of the day as I deal with whatever tandrums, spills and little bumps and bruises that come along with raising a pre-toddler.
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