It's Father's Day and while celebrating both my dad and my husband, I found myself reflecting on what makes these men so special to me.
It comes down to one trait: they both show love.
My dad had 2 daughters and while he probably didn't know what to do with us during our moody teenager years, he never changed his approach to parenting. His never-fail fatherly ability to show us love. He taught me things he was passionate about (building engines for NASCAR teams) to show me that I should also find something that I am passionate about. That my work shouldn't feel like a job, but instead a blessing.
My dad taught me about his faith in Christ because he wanted me to have the same comfort and peace and unconditional love he has. I, too, have that faith in our Lord. Not because my parents took me to church or bought me a Bible, but because I could see the peace and joy they have. When I reached an age where one begins to search for what life has to offer, I studied, I resisted, and then I accepted the same peace and joy into my heart. My faith in Christ's love is what keeps me together and what drives how I choose to live my life. Hopefully I can lead a life as poised and faithful as my dad.
My dad taught me about respect. How to respect others. How to respect myself. This is a HUGE deal for a little girl because it determines how she will be for the rest of her life. He showed respect to my mom so that I knew what I should expect from someone who loves me. He told me -- in both words and actions -- of my value. He made me feel smart and accomplished without saying a word.
See, my dad showed me the greatest lesson of all:
Love is not just something you say, it's something you do.
Love is not a noun, but - at it's finest - it's a verb.
My dad was always there for me. Unconditionally. He listened to me when I had a story to tell. He was an assistant coach of my middle school softball team. He came to all my high school volleyball games and cheered loudly for me when I was on the sidelines cheering for my high school football team. He prayed with me when they dropped me off at my freshman dorm. He praised me for working hard and achieving my goal of getting a job in tv news directly after college. I wonder if he knows that I work hard because I saw his work ethic. He and my mom never complained about work, at least not in front of me. They simply did their jobs because that's what you do.
My dad never pushed me to be something I wasn't. He simply asked me to "do my best" in whatever it is that I am doing. He wasn't impressed when I got straight A's and wasn't angry if I got a C on a test. He simply told me to do my best because that's all we can do. I knew that if I did my best, he'd always be proud of me. That empowering confidence has stayed with me from childhood to this day. It's what makes me want to give that confidence to other women -- which I know is my passion and life's purpose.
My dad helps others. He serves others. He visits the sick from our community when they're in the hospital. He mourns with them when they lose a loved one and attends their funerals to bring a little peace to those grieving.
My dad doesn't just help family or friends or people he knows.
He once stopped on the side of the road when I was a little girl to help a stranger change his tire. I remember because it was at night and I think either cold or raining because the man's wife and baby got in our car while Daddy helped the stranger change his tire. He didn't make a big deal of it. He just helped someone who needed it. He showed me Christ's love is more than something you pray about or study. It's something you show to others. To your family. To your friends. To everyone you meet.
I have always been a Daddy's girl and that's why I am so happy to have found a partner as incredible as my dad.
My husband doesn't just tell me he loves me (although he also makes a point of telling me that every day). He shows me how much he loves me. He takes care of all the little details in my life that I find annoying or frustrating. He goes out of his way to make my life just a little bit easier. He always fills my vehicle with gas. I literally can't remember the last time I had to pump my own gas. He will look at my van's gauge and then take it to get fuel so I won't have to. Not because I can't or because I'm some delicate flower who needs a man to take care of me. Simply because he wants to help make my day better.
My husband shows me acts of kindness and service every day.
And not just me. He shows our 3 daughters this love in ways big and small. This week while our 5-year-old was acting moody and quiet because she was embarrassed, instead of laughing or telling her it's no big deal and to get over it, he asked if she wanted to talk about it. She quickly and not-too-kindly declined because she was still in a foul mood. He again could have dismissed it and moved on. Instead he said,
"It's okay sweetie. You don't have to talk about it now. But if you ever do want to talk, I'm here, ok?"
That line right there might have been the best thing I've ever heard my husband say. Our 5-year-old may not realize it yet, but I guarantee she will take him up on it when she's 14 and 16 and even 34 years old. She will know that her dad is there for her and THAT makes all the difference.
Because when she grows up she'll know that love is more than just something you say. It's something you do.
Happy Father's Day!
