Love List

I am a list maker.

I make lists for what needs to be done, what groceries I need, what projects I'm working on, what my goals are, what dreams I aspire to. Lists are swirling through my head most nights when I'm trying hard to fall asleep. So pretty much everything in my life gets a list.

In honor of Valentine's Day I created a love list.

I hope my little list inspires you to make a list of why your significant other is perfect for you. If you are single, make a list of what is special about you (it should be a long list) and what you want to find in someone else (it should be a shorter list). I think we can't do it, until we dream it (excuse the pun there), so you can't find what you're looking for, until you know what you're looking for. You also can't appreciate what you have, until you count your blessings.

Here are just a few of the reasons why my husband is my valentine:

• He is an amazing father to our girls. We are talking a Taylor Swift singing, princess tea party having kind of dad.
• He works hard to provide for us so that I can choose to be home with our kids.
• He tells me I'm beautiful every day.
• He is an excellent dishwasher loader/unloader, incredible cook, and listens to me when I talk. Really listens.
• He understands all of me: my dreams, my faults, my fears.
• He opens the door for me. Always.
• He respects me and has supported me through career changes, loss of family members, personal struggles and on and on.
• He believes deeply in God and shows kindness to others.
• He makes me laugh with a sarcastic, witty humor that never fails to make me smile.
• He's brilliant.
• He made me a mother and together we made 3 people who are the best parts of us.

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."
--Robert Browning

Let's Love Ourselves A Little More

It's almost Valentine's Day and I would like to suggest something radical.

Women, let's love ourselves a little more.

How many times have we, as women, looked in the mirror and thought, "I hate my (fill-in-the-blank body part)"? Maybe it's your stomach, your hips, your breasts, your arms, or your legs. Maybe you wish you could make some parts smaller or other parts larger. Once you start making a list of what you want to change, the more body parts you want to add to the list.

When I am caught up in a moment of "Ugh! I wish I could change this and this and this..." my husband is quick to say "How about we hate ourselves a little bit less today?" It always makes me laugh. I realize that I am being ridiculous and stop my little hate spiral before it gets out of control.

It's easy to get caught up in the pity party and negativity of our inner voice that tells us how to feel about ourselves.
It could be from the way our moms talked to us or treated her own body image.
Or what society shows us is beautiful.
Or the way a mean girl in middle school or boyfriend later in life made us feel.
But utimately, WE are the ones who beat ourselves up and tear ourselves down.

I saw this article yesterday and it made me stop and think about how my thoughts and actions are affecting me and will -- no doubt -- affect the thoughts and actions of my 3 small daughters. It's about how moms hate their bodies and feel actual shame over their shapes:
http://www.today.com/moms/love-my-kids-hate-my-body-real-moms-speak-out-1B8328835

It's time to stop shaming ourselves.
Time to stop feeling not good enough.
Time to stop comparing ourselves.

Time to stop wishing we could change things that are unchangeable:

Gravity.
Stretch marks.
Our mother's body shape passed down to us as if it were a precious, but unwanted, family heirloom.

It's time to believe in the power of our bodies. The strength in our shape.

As a mother, my body has changed.
That is ok. I feel stronger, more powerful. I know that I helped create life and brought that child into the world.
I DID THAT.

I know that I made milk for my children custom for their size, their age, their needs. And I fed them when no one else could. I know that my body did that.
MY body.

When I start to feel negative and think, "Wouldn't it be great to just change this or that?" it is up to me to change my perspective. If I look at the mirror closely enough, I realize that I am stronger than I have ever been. I am wiser and more confident than I have ever been. I am more beautiful in the eyes of my husband and my children than I was even yesterday. Once I can see the beauty through my own eyes, then I can share that self love with my daughters.

I am happy in this moment.
I choose to see the beauty in the strength and grace I possess and celebrate it.

So ladies, let's reflect on the positives we see in the mirror. Let's find our confidence and celebrate it.