Father's Day Gift

It's Father's Day and while celebrating both my dad and my husband, I found myself reflecting on what makes these men so special to me.

It comes down to one trait: they both show love.

My dad had 2 daughters and while he probably didn't know what to do with us during our moody teenager years, he never changed his approach to parenting. His never-fail fatherly ability to show us love. He taught me things he was passionate about (building engines for NASCAR teams) to show me that I should also find something that I am passionate about. That my work shouldn't feel like a job, but instead a blessing.

My dad taught me about his faith in Christ because he wanted me to have the same comfort and peace and unconditional love he has. I, too, have that faith in our Lord. Not because my parents took me to church or bought me a Bible, but because I could see the peace and joy they have. When I reached an age where one begins to search for what life has to offer, I studied, I resisted, and then I accepted the same peace and joy into my heart. My faith in Christ's love is what keeps me together and what drives how I choose to live my life. Hopefully I can lead a life as poised and faithful as my dad.

My dad taught me about respect. How to respect others. How to respect myself. This is a HUGE deal for a little girl because it determines how she will be for the rest of her life. He showed respect to my mom so that I knew what I should expect from someone who loves me. He told me -- in both words and actions -- of my value. He made me feel smart and accomplished without saying a word.

See, my dad showed me the greatest lesson of all:

Love is not just something you say, it's something you do.

Love is not a noun, but - at it's finest - it's a verb.

My dad was always there for me. Unconditionally. He listened to me when I had a story to tell. He was an assistant coach of my middle school softball team. He came to all my high school volleyball games and cheered loudly for me when I was on the sidelines cheering for my high school football team. He prayed with me when they dropped me off at my freshman dorm. He praised me for working hard and achieving my goal of getting a job in tv news directly after college. I wonder if he knows that I work hard because I saw his work ethic. He and my mom never complained about work, at least not in front of me. They simply did their jobs because that's what you do.

My dad never pushed me to be something I wasn't. He simply asked me to "do my best" in whatever it is that I am doing. He wasn't impressed when I got straight A's and wasn't angry if I got a C on a test. He simply told me to do my best because that's all we can do. I knew that if I did my best, he'd always be proud of me. That empowering confidence has stayed with me from childhood to this day. It's what makes me want to give that confidence to other women -- which I know is my passion and life's purpose.

My dad helps others. He serves others. He visits the sick from our community when they're in the hospital. He mourns with them when they lose a loved one and attends their funerals to bring a little peace to those grieving.

My dad doesn't just help family or friends or people he knows.

He once stopped on the side of the road when I was a little girl to help a stranger change his tire. I remember because it was at night and I think either cold or raining because the man's wife and baby got in our car while Daddy helped the stranger change his tire. He didn't make a big deal of it. He just helped someone who needed it. He showed me Christ's love is more than something you pray about or study. It's something you show to others. To your family. To your friends. To everyone you meet.

I have always been a Daddy's girl and that's why I am so happy to have found a partner as incredible as my dad.

My husband doesn't just tell me he loves me (although he also makes a point of telling me that every day). He shows me how much he loves me. He takes care of all the little details in my life that I find annoying or frustrating. He goes out of his way to make my life just a little bit easier. He always fills my vehicle with gas. I literally can't remember the last time I had to pump my own gas. He will look at my van's gauge and then take it to get fuel so I won't have to. Not because I can't or because I'm some delicate flower who needs a man to take care of me. Simply because he wants to help make my day better.

My husband shows me acts of kindness and service every day.

And not just me. He shows our 3 daughters this love in ways big and small. This week while our 5-year-old was acting moody and quiet because she was embarrassed, instead of laughing or telling her it's no big deal and to get over it, he asked if she wanted to talk about it. She quickly and not-too-kindly declined because she was still in a foul mood. He again could have dismissed it and moved on. Instead he said,

"It's okay sweetie. You don't have to talk about it now. But if you ever do want to talk, I'm here, ok?"

That line right there might have been the best thing I've ever heard my husband say. Our 5-year-old may not realize it yet, but I guarantee she will take him up on it when she's 14 and 16 and even 34 years old. She will know that her dad is there for her and THAT makes all the difference.

Because when she grows up she'll know that love is more than just something you say. It's something you do.

Happy Father's Day!

Love List

I am a list maker.

I make lists for what needs to be done, what groceries I need, what projects I'm working on, what my goals are, what dreams I aspire to. Lists are swirling through my head most nights when I'm trying hard to fall asleep. So pretty much everything in my life gets a list.

In honor of Valentine's Day I created a love list.

I hope my little list inspires you to make a list of why your significant other is perfect for you. If you are single, make a list of what is special about you (it should be a long list) and what you want to find in someone else (it should be a shorter list). I think we can't do it, until we dream it (excuse the pun there), so you can't find what you're looking for, until you know what you're looking for. You also can't appreciate what you have, until you count your blessings.

Here are just a few of the reasons why my husband is my valentine:

• He is an amazing father to our girls. We are talking a Taylor Swift singing, princess tea party having kind of dad.
• He works hard to provide for us so that I can choose to be home with our kids.
• He tells me I'm beautiful every day.
• He is an excellent dishwasher loader/unloader, incredible cook, and listens to me when I talk. Really listens.
• He understands all of me: my dreams, my faults, my fears.
• He opens the door for me. Always.
• He respects me and has supported me through career changes, loss of family members, personal struggles and on and on.
• He believes deeply in God and shows kindness to others.
• He makes me laugh with a sarcastic, witty humor that never fails to make me smile.
• He's brilliant.
• He made me a mother and together we made 3 people who are the best parts of us.

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."
--Robert Browning

Let's Love Ourselves A Little More

It's almost Valentine's Day and I would like to suggest something radical.

Women, let's love ourselves a little more.

How many times have we, as women, looked in the mirror and thought, "I hate my (fill-in-the-blank body part)"? Maybe it's your stomach, your hips, your breasts, your arms, or your legs. Maybe you wish you could make some parts smaller or other parts larger. Once you start making a list of what you want to change, the more body parts you want to add to the list.

When I am caught up in a moment of "Ugh! I wish I could change this and this and this..." my husband is quick to say "How about we hate ourselves a little bit less today?" It always makes me laugh. I realize that I am being ridiculous and stop my little hate spiral before it gets out of control.

It's easy to get caught up in the pity party and negativity of our inner voice that tells us how to feel about ourselves.
It could be from the way our moms talked to us or treated her own body image.
Or what society shows us is beautiful.
Or the way a mean girl in middle school or boyfriend later in life made us feel.
But utimately, WE are the ones who beat ourselves up and tear ourselves down.

I saw this article yesterday and it made me stop and think about how my thoughts and actions are affecting me and will -- no doubt -- affect the thoughts and actions of my 3 small daughters. It's about how moms hate their bodies and feel actual shame over their shapes:
http://www.today.com/moms/love-my-kids-hate-my-body-real-moms-speak-out-1B8328835

It's time to stop shaming ourselves.
Time to stop feeling not good enough.
Time to stop comparing ourselves.

Time to stop wishing we could change things that are unchangeable:

Gravity.
Stretch marks.
Our mother's body shape passed down to us as if it were a precious, but unwanted, family heirloom.

It's time to believe in the power of our bodies. The strength in our shape.

As a mother, my body has changed.
That is ok. I feel stronger, more powerful. I know that I helped create life and brought that child into the world.
I DID THAT.

I know that I made milk for my children custom for their size, their age, their needs. And I fed them when no one else could. I know that my body did that.
MY body.

When I start to feel negative and think, "Wouldn't it be great to just change this or that?" it is up to me to change my perspective. If I look at the mirror closely enough, I realize that I am stronger than I have ever been. I am wiser and more confident than I have ever been. I am more beautiful in the eyes of my husband and my children than I was even yesterday. Once I can see the beauty through my own eyes, then I can share that self love with my daughters.

I am happy in this moment.
I choose to see the beauty in the strength and grace I possess and celebrate it.

So ladies, let's reflect on the positives we see in the mirror. Let's find our confidence and celebrate it.