As you know I'm trying to eat for 3 people so that these little twins will grow to be big, fat, strong, healthy twins. So obviously I'm going to gain weight. I have NO problem with that. In fact I enjoy seeing myself change and grow because I believe pregnancy is an incredible miracle. Just think, I help CREATE life. That's pretty freakin' amazing.
What I don't like are people who make unnecessary, and often rude, comments about a pregnant woman's weight. When I was pregnant with the Bean I heard all kinds of comments that would have been considered horribly rude by any social standard if directed to a man or a woman who wasn't pregnant. But apparently when you are pregnant some people feel they have free reign to say whatever the heck they are thinking and tell you exactly what they think of your changing body. I'm sorry, WHAT?
People will tell you that you look tired (even when you're not and thought you were having a good day up until the point this person make you feel like crap because apparently you must look like crap). People feel the need to ask you how much weight you have gained. This can be acceptable if you bring up the subject, but really there's no need for someone to say, "You're really getting big. How much weight have you gained?" My personal favorite was when I was at work in the last month of my pregnancy with the Bean and a co-worker (a FEMALE co-worker) said as she walked by, "Wow! You're really gaining weight. I can really see it in your face." OMG! WHY, oh why, would one woman say that to another woman? Really why would anyone say that to anyone? I just starting crying right there at my desk. The male co-workers in my cube ran away as quickly as if someone had pulled the fire alarm while the offender just stood there and continued to rationalize her behavior. "I mean, don't be upset. I don't mean anything by it. I'm just saying you've gained weight." Luckily for me, a good friend of mine was next to me at the time and she told the offender to just leave.
Normally I wouldn't cry if someone commented on my weight. I may just answer your question as my blood pressure rises and then leave the situation before I say something ugly in response. However that day I had already heard some other rude comments about my weight from other co-workers (all women I might add) and the sum of the whole just made me feel like crap.
Let me reinterate how I feel about pregnancy: I LOVE being pregnant. I love the way my body changes. I love that I can grow a baby and then deliver that baby (or babies as the case is now). I don't understand why some people choose to make pregnant women feel terrible for that. What if I were to tell a man who had put on some weight, "Wow! You sure are getting big. How much weight have you put on this year?" That would be unbelieveably rude!
I know with twins I'm going to gain much more weight than I did with the Bean, but that's what I'm supposed to do. It's what I need to do to grow healthy babies. This time around I'd prefer if others could keep their ridiculously rude and completely unnecessary comments to themselves. I know it won't happen and someone will tell me how big I am and how miserable I must be.
Here's an idea: how about you just take a second to think about what you are going to say BEFORE you say it. Just think if you would want someone to say that to you. Just think if it would hurt your feelings. Just think if would make you mad. Just think if it would ruin your day. Just THINK.
